I write this entry while sitting next to my sleeping son, who six days ago surprised us, by being born a little over 6 weeks early. There are not enough words in either Armenian or English to adequately describe the emotions that my wife and I have experienced through the beginning of this adventure, but I'll do my best.
Despite being early, he's surpassed all of our (e.g. nurses, doctors, parents) expectations, and is developing quickly. All of us keep stating that he was more prepared to be born than we were for his arrival, and all of us are simply playing catch-up to his schedule. I can already tell by the look on his face, and in his eyes, that he's determined. He has an internal fire that's indescribeable, and gives me hope for his bright future. It really is awe inspiring to watch a child grow and develop in front of your eyes. The historians who decided on the initial list of the seven wonders of the world clearly missed one.
Every day since his arrival, I thank him for being born early. He's given me a renewed sense of purpose, that will persist until my end. Each night, I reflect on the day, and think about the one lesson that he's taught me. The first being to be prepared for the unexpected. Most think of that statement as preparedness for a negative event, but now, I realize that the unexpected can be positive too!
For those of you that tried to describe parenthood to us before he was born, you were right; there is nothing like it. I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up from a wonderful dream, and find myself without him. The threat of that happening conjures so much sadness that it brings tears to my eyes, and a pain in my chest that I've never felt before. It's true, that you're never really prepared for the birth of your child, but as soon as they're born, you quickly find yourself trying to fill shoes that your child has put in front of you.
I just hope that I'm as good as a father as he deserves to have. I know all parents think that they're child is the best; I hope that my boy feels that his father is.
I love you Julien, and I'm so glad that you're here.
Thoughts of a life hacker